The Yardstick
by Faeries and Vampyres
Summary: There is a legend in Gryffindor tower. They have the tallest tower. This is why. Not to be taken seriously.


**Quick AN: this is a stupid oneshot inspired by a Tumblr post/headcanon I saw.**

 **Honestly I don't even know. I had sugar, we'll put it like that. And if you know me, well… This is hardly the weirdest thing I've ever done when I have sugar in my system.**

It started with the Weasley twins- of course it did- when they had an argument with a Ravenclaw in their year.

The two fifth year Gryffindors insisted that their tower was taller, while the fifth year Ravenclaw claimed _theirs_ was taller.

Finally, it got to the point where the three of them went and used a spell to measure the tower.

Ravenclaw tower was two feet taller.

The Ravenclaw returned to the dorm, telling all the other Ravenclaws about the argument. Soon enough, they all knew Gryffindor tower was shorter and were planning to use this knowledge.

Fred and George, however, were not happy with this development.

In the common room, they stood on a table and gathered everyone's attention. "Gather 'round, fellow Gryffs, we have a terrible story to tell." George said dramatically, causing everyone to listen in- even if rather reluctantly (ahem, Percy and Hermione, and anyone like them).

"Today, we spoke to a Ravenclaw in our year," Fred began, "a discussion was started about how tall our dorm towers are."

George picked up the story. "How many of you think Gryffindor tower is taller?"

Everyone's hands went up. "I mean, it only makes sense! We're the brave house, we get a taller tower because we're brave enough to climb it!" Some kid in the back yelled. There were noises of agreement all over the room.

"Well, we have horrible news to impart upon you," the twins said in unison. "Ravenclaw tower is two feet taller than ours!"

"Blasphemy!" Someone else yelled.

Everyone began to mutter about how their tower should be taller, then Harry spoke up.

"That's bullshit, hang on." He ran up to his dorm, no one questioning him. They were shocked that he said bullshit. He came down with a yardstick and duct tape, "Don't ask," he said by way of explanation as he went to the window.

Harry stood on the sill and climbed up the side of the wall, using skills he developed to get away from Dudley- the tub of lard couldn't climb for his life- and made his way up to the roof.

The rest of Gryffindor, for the most part, were looking out windows from the common room and cheering him on. A few people even ran up to their dorm rooms to get a better look.

Harry stood on the roof and walked to the very top of the tower, where he stood the yardstick up and duct taped it there. Then he made his way to the edge of the roof again, climbing so that he was hanging from the edge. "Fred, George, Lee, prepare yourselves!" He called down as he let go of the edge and was caught by them.

A few other Gryffindors helped pull him back into the common room, and Fred and George left.

Hermione came up to him, annoyed that he risked his life again, and Harry headed off her incoming rant by putting his hands on her shoulder. "'Mione, now our tower is a foot taller. We win. Come on, celebrate!"

A few Gryffindors were already cheering, and the twins returned with food and butterbeers. "Party! We beat the Ravenclaws and now our tower is taller!" They yelled.

All that night, Gryffindor partied about having the tallest tower (the Astronomy tower was actually shorter than Gryffindor tower- but then again, so were all the other towers, too).

The next day, all of Gryffindor went to breakfast at the same time, all very smug.

Fred and George got on the table. "As of now, Gryffindor tower is a foot taller than Ravenclaw tower!" They exclaimed.

"How?" The Ravenclaw they had argued with asked loudly. "It's two feet shorter than Ravenclaw tower!"

Harry was pulled into the table with him (well, a third pulled by the twins, a third pushed up by the other Gryffindors, and a third got up by his own choice). "I duct taped a yardstick to the top."

The Gryffindors all sat down, grinning madly at the annoyed Ravenclaws.

They had the tallest tower.

And years later, even after this generation had fallen into obscurity, was no longer remembered, Gryffindors were still smug about their tower being tallest (the yardstick and duct tape having long been charmed against being tampered with in any way, be it weather, a person, a bird, or even the headmaster/headmistress).


End file.
